Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
WHAT THE KIMCHI: WELP, SUFFICE IT TO SAY DAN LIKES... →
what-the-kimchi: But, as per my life, it’s never easy. He says he fell in love with me the first time we met and he can see us ending up together for the long haul. Oh, except I’m going back to America in 2 months and he still has 2 years of military service left to complete. He has absolutely no qualms about any of this. He’s just like, let’s date and fall in love and make the most of the...
So I recently reblogged a post on “slut-shaming” and it got me thinking about sex and judging. Back when I first learned about sex and anything related to the reproductive systems, I was nauseated and terrified. I’m “young” for my age - on a slower track than others when it comes to emotional growth. So when girls were having sex at thirteen, fourteen, sixteen, I...
Suicide is a: Selfish, Unwise, Idealized, Calamitous, Ill-conceived, Destructive Escape. ——— I wrote an earlier version of this on April 8, 2009 (I changed five of the words) and it was called “angsty”. Someone please point out exactly how what I wrote is angsty in any way. This piece is condemning suicide. How the hell is that angsty? Jesus… * Okay,...
mekishikoraptor: lilysmusic replied to your post: so i took a meyers brigg test thingamabob and aparently i’m INFJ I’m actually an INFJ too :) Maybe thats why we hit it off so well. I’ve missed your glorious presence at my dinner times-tear-. I MISS YOU TOO!!!! and it sucks that you graduated and now i don’t get to see you D: you should visit me and Rox though That cracks me up -...
Two days past eighteen He was waiting for the bus in his army green…
villa-kulla asked: "Curious as to whether the reporter was female or not." just saw your comment, and yes she was! The majority of the comments were about that reporter and how horrible "he" was, as I guess everyone assumed a woman couldn't be so oblivious but I guess we can. That was the most irritating part about that interview for me. I'm not sure if it makes it better or worse...
here, at the end of all things.: We're All Sluts!... →
glassdream: Hello! My name is Erika. I’m 19 years old, and I’m a slut. And guess what? You’re a slut, too! In fact, all of the women you know are sluts! Even your mama! Okay, please put the gun down. I’ll explain. The world today has put a pretty strict model in place for how women should behave. They should always be modest, classy, and ladylike. Always, motherfucker. ...
castillon02: dyanitokala: caitikoi: tannanana: tattooeddicks: ladamania: This should constantly be on my dash just every few days. “Wait I just…I can’t…fuck”…. I Kam and I are still Internet famous, I see. I have reblogged this at least twice before and I give no fucks. This is golden. Things that only got better with time.
I have nothing now but praise for my life. I’m not unhappy. I cry a lot because...– Maurice Sendak on Fresh Air in 2011. [all interviews with Sendak here] (via nprfreshair)
Your dash has been signed by the Avengers and...
the-star-spangled-avenger: Bruce Banner/Hulk Clint Barton/Hawkeye Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow Steve Rogers/Captain America Thor Odinson Tony Stark/Iron Man Agent Phil Coulson Loki Laufeyson Pepper Potts Nick Fury Maria Hill From this picture: The cast of the Avengers signed this card as if they were the characters :)
*Hears noises at night*: Well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I going to go on
*Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*A cop walks by*: Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
*Taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school
*Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer
WHAT THE KIMCHI: FIRST MEETINGS →
bambiya: what-the-kimchi: I applied for a language partner when I got here 3 weeks ago, but at the time, the Korean students were prepping for exams so I didn’t hear anything back until just a few days ago when I got an email out of the blue saying they were done with classes and ready to meet their partners. By all accounts, I should never have met Dan. (His English name, of course.) He’s...
Today, I changed my name in my dad's phone to...
most-awkward-moments: He was like Priceless.
On a park bench On a skyscrape On a mountain Oh yeah, whatever it takes I...– “What If We Could” Blue October
The Phrase Finder →
fuckyeahcharacterdevelopment: I thought this might be useful to anyone wanting to spice up their dialogue. Of course, you shouldn’t be having phrases or idioms every sentence, but sometimes it can really make your dialogue pop just right, once you get the hang of it. - Pen