The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog
I have a story to share. I may regret this, but here goes….
On Saturday, I was at my boyfriend’s house, on his bed, messing around on my laptop. When I noticed the battery was low, I turned around and plugged my charger into the outlet located at the head of his bed. While reaching down, I noticed a cute little fluffy bunny. It looked something like this:
Aww, look at it.
Thinking it was, you know, a harmless little thing, I pick it up and throw it on the floor next to his bed. Then A and I go out to eat at a diner. We get back, and while I’m waiting for his mother to finish up in the restroom, A comes out with the rabbit again.
Oh hey look it’s that rabbit I found under the bed. Fancy that.
Apparently it’s a puppet. I register this because he has it on his hand and he says to me, “Hey, want to see something cool?”
OH MY JESUS.
“AHHHALDSKFJASLFH” I shriek and slam backwards into the wall. Both he and his mother’s boyfriend exclaim, “Are you okay?!”
I’m too winded to speak. They start laughing and he keeps repeating, “I didn’t mean to scare you”
I thought that thing was this… this cute little harmless bunny, you know, then you realize it has this gaping wide blood red mouth with fangs and teeth and LOOK AT THAT THING LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT JAW OH MY GOD
Now, just imagine the sound of a can opener…
Anyway, my boyfriend has repeatedly tested my fear of this creature, and has discovered to his endless pleasure that I freak out whenever I see it and/or come in contact with it. I’m sure he considers it the best wake-up method ever.
“Look who’s sharing your pillow…” ♫
Eyes snap open. Sees rabbit. Screams in unintelligible horror.
I mean, just look at it. That jaw, those eyes.. (they’re red, if you can’t tell). It’s just waiting… Waiting for the opportune moment to lunge at your jugular.
You’ve been warned.
* I have, to my everlasting shame, have not seen the entirety of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. This will be rectified at some point, I assure you.